First Impressions

Everyone knows how important first impressions, it's often the basis for whether or not you'll receive the chance for a second one, and sadly usually sticks around well after everything is done and said. Hell, in fact this post counts as a first impression, and if I don't deliver, why would you stick around?

This really comes to mind because of a discussion I was having with someone earlier today, about a documentary his friend was doing about essentially the gay community. For such a small community, we do a great job of separating ourselves even more into little cliques, which only serves to hurt our cause even more.

On one hand you got the butch "masculine" gay guys, they're macho, they're not "in your face", hell they might even get to just "fit in" completely with straight society and never have any issues with discrimination. They're the ones you find in the gym, hiding out on a football field, infesting your gym lockers and proudly wearing Affliction shirts, or perhaps a nice polo.

On the other hand you got the flamboyant "feminine" gay guys, more commonly known as fairies, queers, and all sorts of delightful monikers. They're the in-your-face, out-loud-out-proud, kind of guys, the ones you expect and mock to wear make up, be into fashion (as if it's bad that they care), and are commonly into man-scaping. They'd be called out as gay in the pitch black, with a prominent wrist limp and a cosmopolitan.

That's all fine and well for both groups, but at the end of the day, you still like dick, you still own a dick and you still like to get some ass. And *gasp* you're still gay. 

Of course...Hopefully most everyone knows, that these are just stereotypes...That these people don't truly exist..welllll. They do, but not as common, nor are they as forced as they sound..Yet still, upon meeting someone, we immediately just classify them into one of these two categories, whether they be gay or lesbian (Who are either "dykes" or "lipstick lesbians"), and then we throw an unfair hissy fit when straight people do the same.

If you simply associate with people from one "cast", you'll live a very boring life. People are all different, and it's like a buffet, you should always get a variety of things, or would you really just get plate after plate of plain ol' roast beef? You'll be able to get help and advice on all sorts of things that pop up in life, and you'll be thankful for having that one friend who just happens to know to sew a mccall's pattern! I have different friends that I ask for different advice, be it fashion (which i plainly suck at), cooking, life, sex, decorating, or simple entertainment (Gotta have a friend who watches the same trashy tv as you!).


These first impressions get blown out of proportion (Unless of course you actually are at a drag show, or perhaps, a straight-acting convention?) and then we start to assume so much about other people. Over time people tend to change, we fluctuate and it shouldn't be surprising that most people just don't fit neatly into a box. There is no man who is purely masculine, or purely feminine, so why can't we accept that?

The thing about first impressions is, we don't get to decide the situation we meet people in, the circumstances of the moment. We tend to forget these details over time, and just remember details that amount to nothing.  We should learn, or at least know, that first impressions shouldn't be a measuring stick, but perhaps just a tiny taste of what might come, so why not just let go of that impression, and take a chance for a second? If things go will maybe a third, and damn, before you know it, you'll have a real life relationship or bond.