Fitness, Fashion, and Fun. (Whether or not it's moral, legal, or appropriate is up to the individual).
My last few posts have been, lets say drab, so I figured it was time to talk about something more fun, lighthearted, and yet still close to my heart! Suffice it to say, that while I write this, California Gurls is playing in the background, because what song is more appropriate for....most of those things? If you like you could even replace those F's with Fine, Fresh, Fierce. I swear Katy Perry could be a faghag extraordinaire if she felt the need.Now I'll admit that i have little to no real say in things fitness or fashion, but damn it, I know others who do!
Recently, as in the past few days, I've renewed my vigor towards getting into shape because as we all know the sad reality is that being in shape and having some sort of bod is simply make or break for so many people. This of course goes for all people gay, straight, transgendered, questioning. Now my own experiences with working out is similar to an epic battle of good versus evil, where both sides consider fight but no one wins. I'll work out for a while before ultimately falling to the forces of laziness. However, this time I am making the push for a win! I'm still sore but my ability to work out is getting better and stronger, I was actually able to "run" almost a mile and a half within a 20 minute span. In the fall I will be joined by the undeniable force that is mxrosie, who is a machine in a gym. With her constantly pushing the both of us, I have high hopes that by the end of my sophomore year, I shall have the college bod that I'll be able to remember fondly when I'm old and unable to retain it.
In the field of fashion I personally have no stake, nor do I even have the remote ability to put together a "hot" outfit, nor do I have any ideas as to the rules that comes with it. I am surrounded by people who are gifted at that, and to them I say bravo. Many would think that fashion is superficial or something that a waste of time and money, but even if I can't do it, I can see the merits of being able to. Not only can you be fine, fierce, fresh, but with it comes a mindset, and an attitude that is simply beneficial to one's life both personal and professional. Being confident, sexy, and whatever attribute you want can come together and be shown off by own's outfit, and I have been around this long enough to see for myself. Perhaps one day I too will be infected by the fashion bug, here's crossing my fingers, but until then I'll simply lean on others to do it for me! Of course there is a fine line between being fashionable, and a condescending arrogant person, but it's a clearly drawn line that's easy to see and avoid. In the words of Vinh | Vuitton, "Fashion is a lifestyle, not about this season's 'it' item".
Fun, in any shape or form is always something that I'll hold dear to me, whether or not it causes me to balloon up like perhaps, a rectangle. Of course these days everyone thinks that having fun requires a gallon of liquor, and sometimes it does, but there are other things you can do. I myself like going out dancing at clubs, when i can drag my friends out to go with me anyway. Hell, in a place like Austin you have to learn to like to do somethings outdoors, like boat parties, kayaking and even hiking once or twice. And if those things don't sound particularly fun...always keep in mind that attractive people like to do outdoorsy things to keep in shape and to maintain their tan skin.
Regardless, today is Father's Day, so I hope everyone is out spending time with their dads, and if they are no longer here, celebrating in their spirit. Have a good day everyone!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
The Curious Case of Avan the Gaysian.
Just like every other single person, gaysian or otherwise, out there I occasionally think about why is it that I am single.Which of course, involves looking over past relationships and crushes, leading to me wanting about a tub of ice cream and to smack my head against the wall repeatedly.
You see, I think everyone that dates settles into a pattern, of what they do repeatedly to start, extend, and then inevitably destroy a relationship, until they finally break out and start doing something more then just "date", but to actually and truly "be" with someone. To me, saying that you're "dating" someone means nothing, and in the case of many of my friends, that's what it eventually amounts to, nothing. And I am just the same.
Looking back on my dating life, if it's even enough to call a life, I've realized that my own pattern is quite ugly. Well as my friends used to put it, when i was still doing the whole "cruising" scene, my requirements were, no joke, :
1. He must have been raped (While this sounds horrible, as it turns out, it was pretty much true)
2. My fellow gaysian must have already talked to him (Which i suppose means I only like rice queens? some food for thought).
3. He must be latino, or some deviation that i could find suitable (Which did not include phillipinos)
This is of course, after I had actually dated two guys, well...dated one guy and "testdrove" another, neither of which ended very pretty. Ironically I still talk to both, not on the daily, but it's not as awkward as it could be. I say this of course, after an entire semester of ducking out of streets, and literally running away from my first ex until I decided it wasn't worth it.
But for all my requirements, and hang ups on dating and love, I've come to realize that once I like you, even if I stop, I refuse to let go of you totally. Regardless if it hurts, and regardless if it'd be easier for the both of us if i did, I simply cannot. I end up talking to my exes about their new boyfriends, which admittedly doesn't hurt anymore, and help them anyway I can within reason. Yet it's the ones that I liked and that "got away" that I have the real issues with.
Those are the ones that it feels like i'm being stabbed when I talk to them, and for some reason they always feel drawn to me with their emotional baggage, as if we all don't have enough on our own. These are the ones that tell me about who they like and are chasing after, and that I'm forced to comfort while wishing I could be the one they'd chase. Indeed, I am "that guy".
Yet, for all the pain this causes, and the fights that I have with friends because of it, I wouldn't change myself. This is who I am. Someone who cares for others more then he should, because that's all I know how to do. It's such a contradiction to who I am, but in a way, it's the only way I can feel alive. Through the bullshit I constantly dredge up from my past, through my inability to feel emotions as everyone else does, through all the loneliness that every person holds, which I refuse to ignore or hide like so many others. We are born as people who require affection and the need to socialize, and as such it only makes sense that we live that way.
I'm not trying to say that everyone's pattern is particularly bad, or that I'm suddenly off my own, or that I'm even trying. What I am trying to say that whether what we do works or not, the very fact we keep trying means something. And what so many people forget as they say "It never works out, it never has worked out, etc" is that, in life you only need it to work out once.
~I'm your biggest fan,
I'll follow you until you love me...~
-That's right bitches. I'm going to hunt you down until I get the conclusion I want.
You see, I think everyone that dates settles into a pattern, of what they do repeatedly to start, extend, and then inevitably destroy a relationship, until they finally break out and start doing something more then just "date", but to actually and truly "be" with someone. To me, saying that you're "dating" someone means nothing, and in the case of many of my friends, that's what it eventually amounts to, nothing. And I am just the same.
Looking back on my dating life, if it's even enough to call a life, I've realized that my own pattern is quite ugly. Well as my friends used to put it, when i was still doing the whole "cruising" scene, my requirements were, no joke, :
1. He must have been raped (While this sounds horrible, as it turns out, it was pretty much true)
2. My fellow gaysian must have already talked to him (Which i suppose means I only like rice queens? some food for thought).
3. He must be latino, or some deviation that i could find suitable (Which did not include phillipinos)
This is of course, after I had actually dated two guys, well...dated one guy and "testdrove" another, neither of which ended very pretty. Ironically I still talk to both, not on the daily, but it's not as awkward as it could be. I say this of course, after an entire semester of ducking out of streets, and literally running away from my first ex until I decided it wasn't worth it.
But for all my requirements, and hang ups on dating and love, I've come to realize that once I like you, even if I stop, I refuse to let go of you totally. Regardless if it hurts, and regardless if it'd be easier for the both of us if i did, I simply cannot. I end up talking to my exes about their new boyfriends, which admittedly doesn't hurt anymore, and help them anyway I can within reason. Yet it's the ones that I liked and that "got away" that I have the real issues with.
Those are the ones that it feels like i'm being stabbed when I talk to them, and for some reason they always feel drawn to me with their emotional baggage, as if we all don't have enough on our own. These are the ones that tell me about who they like and are chasing after, and that I'm forced to comfort while wishing I could be the one they'd chase. Indeed, I am "that guy".
Yet, for all the pain this causes, and the fights that I have with friends because of it, I wouldn't change myself. This is who I am. Someone who cares for others more then he should, because that's all I know how to do. It's such a contradiction to who I am, but in a way, it's the only way I can feel alive. Through the bullshit I constantly dredge up from my past, through my inability to feel emotions as everyone else does, through all the loneliness that every person holds, which I refuse to ignore or hide like so many others. We are born as people who require affection and the need to socialize, and as such it only makes sense that we live that way.
I'm not trying to say that everyone's pattern is particularly bad, or that I'm suddenly off my own, or that I'm even trying. What I am trying to say that whether what we do works or not, the very fact we keep trying means something. And what so many people forget as they say "It never works out, it never has worked out, etc" is that, in life you only need it to work out once.
~I'm your biggest fan,
I'll follow you until you love me...~
-That's right bitches. I'm going to hunt you down until I get the conclusion I want.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
I can feel your heartbeat...
It's 4 AM and my right middle finger hurts...For most people this would mean absolutely nothing, but for some reason everytime I've felt depressed and what would most likely be described as "heart-ache" my right middle finger hurts more so then my chest.
It came about so randomly too, I was laying in bed unable to sleep as usual but i was going through my phonebook and saw the contact for someone I haven't talked to in so long, because quite simply I fucked up a friendship and potentially someone I actually liked because of my inability to function as a normal human being. In my own little way I tried to fix the bridge I so accidentally burned, but I realized quickly that it wasn't going to work, and I had no one to blame by myself.
I wonder if this is something that all people feel at times, the knowledge that you ruined something without a thought, and now all you have left is regret. I can only hope that I can learn from this, and not repeat it, but that's what we do as humans isn't it? Repeat the same old mistakes, because it stems from some vice that we hold but can't seem to shake off.
Shortly after this, I went further down the list and saw another friend, someone I had depended on for almost two years for advice and comfort when I was feeling down, and realized it had been almost 6 months since I'd bother having a conversation with him. It was around this time that i realized that I needed to stop looking at my address book!
I guess the moral of this post is to say...We should all take a look at the relationships and friendships we have built, the ones that we have lost track of, and figure out which ones we need to hold onto tighter.
"Maybe it’s the way you move
You got me dreaming like a fool
That I can steal your heart away
I can steal your heart away"
Enrique Inglesias, you can always steal my heart away <3.
It came about so randomly too, I was laying in bed unable to sleep as usual but i was going through my phonebook and saw the contact for someone I haven't talked to in so long, because quite simply I fucked up a friendship and potentially someone I actually liked because of my inability to function as a normal human being. In my own little way I tried to fix the bridge I so accidentally burned, but I realized quickly that it wasn't going to work, and I had no one to blame by myself.
I wonder if this is something that all people feel at times, the knowledge that you ruined something without a thought, and now all you have left is regret. I can only hope that I can learn from this, and not repeat it, but that's what we do as humans isn't it? Repeat the same old mistakes, because it stems from some vice that we hold but can't seem to shake off.
Shortly after this, I went further down the list and saw another friend, someone I had depended on for almost two years for advice and comfort when I was feeling down, and realized it had been almost 6 months since I'd bother having a conversation with him. It was around this time that i realized that I needed to stop looking at my address book!
I guess the moral of this post is to say...We should all take a look at the relationships and friendships we have built, the ones that we have lost track of, and figure out which ones we need to hold onto tighter.
"Maybe it’s the way you move
You got me dreaming like a fool
That I can steal your heart away
I can steal your heart away"
Enrique Inglesias, you can always steal my heart away <3.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
A Birthday Come and Gone
Another year has come and gone, and I feel like I've changed a fair amount, whether it's for the best we'll have to see. This year was a surprise party, which i had known about for the past 3 days or so thanks to Vinh | Vuitton's facebook showing the event in bold letters haha. The party was great fun, full of some familiar faces and some that I hadn't expected to realistically see ever again. It was a night that I'll hold dear.
I personally never try to hold anything special for my birthday, since it always goes wrong somehow either due to the weather or the simple fact I didn't really have many people I wanted to celebrate it with. This year marks the first year I've actively tried to befriend people, and network out. I can say that i'm having some success proudly, as my facebook friends count can demonstrate!
The night wouldn't be over without some drama of course, as I being the bad influence I am had brought along my cousins and their friend along, two of which that would join me in throwing up, along with the other birthday boy who shared the party with. However, the night isn't over until not only are people sick, but people are being horny (how else can you celebrate a party in my honor otherwise?), trying to sleep with an old friend of mine from high school. I don't have all the details, but apparently trashy come on's are in season again and classiness includes being able to tell people you want to "Really really fuck her".
Of course the day after a party is never fun, as the sun shines brightly, purposely abusing our hungover eyes and minds, and having to deal with the messes made. Which reminds me, when one throws up profusely, it's common courtesy to help clean it up. Regardless, I consider last night a success, and I'm thankful for all those that could attend, and for those who wished me well! I love, well like a lot, you all!
<3.
I personally never try to hold anything special for my birthday, since it always goes wrong somehow either due to the weather or the simple fact I didn't really have many people I wanted to celebrate it with. This year marks the first year I've actively tried to befriend people, and network out. I can say that i'm having some success proudly, as my facebook friends count can demonstrate!
The night wouldn't be over without some drama of course, as I being the bad influence I am had brought along my cousins and their friend along, two of which that would join me in throwing up, along with the other birthday boy who shared the party with. However, the night isn't over until not only are people sick, but people are being horny (how else can you celebrate a party in my honor otherwise?), trying to sleep with an old friend of mine from high school. I don't have all the details, but apparently trashy come on's are in season again and classiness includes being able to tell people you want to "Really really fuck her".
Of course the day after a party is never fun, as the sun shines brightly, purposely abusing our hungover eyes and minds, and having to deal with the messes made. Which reminds me, when one throws up profusely, it's common courtesy to help clean it up. Regardless, I consider last night a success, and I'm thankful for all those that could attend, and for those who wished me well! I love, well like a lot, you all!
<3.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Pride Weekend otherwise known as Failure to Launch
This weekend was Pride in Austin, a veritable assortment of queers and queens, and as such was rowdy, drunk, and slutty. This year was actually the first year I even knew we had a Pride, as you may have guessed i live under a rock. I had originally taken off to go to the big pride parade, but as per usual that fell flat on it's face. Everyone i knew was either working or had previous plans, and everyone judges the fag that goes stag hag!
So in usual style and flair of my weekends...I stayed at home unless something came up on it's own. With luck, my fellow gaysian was going to a concert and had an extra ticket so I tagged along. We went to go see Greg Laswell, who sings quite depressing songs (which fits in perfectly with my bitter single life), he was quite charming and upbeat in person. Of course, I was distracted by the drunk housewives of Austin, Texas behind me, one of which accidentally grabbed my ass. Did i mention the ever lovely Texas heat, creating a hell-like environment, where the smell of musk reigns supreme? After the concert, which was overall great, we decided to run over to Kiss n Fly, the local gay club, to see how Pride was doing still.
Well as it turns out the summer heat brings out the inner slut in us all. Not to say that as a negative thing...I saw more abs then I could possibly feel up in a single night! Of course pride also meant that there were a lot of familiar faces....A lot, a lot, a lot...some were friends(ish..), some were classmates, some were STD ridden sluts of campus...and some were guys from grindr that I pretended to not notice.
Sadly, as the title suggested, things didn't go smoothly, seeing as we never got in, the line was ridiculously long, and the bouncer friend of my fellow gaysian was unable to just let us in. We left, defeated, walking to the thumping beat of the block party across the street, where all the gays were getting drunk and horny.
Of course, that was just Saturday night, and Sunday ended in typical fashion with only a few twists. For a friend's birthday they had gone to Karaoke, the breeding hole of all Asians. It's always the same recipe. Throw a bunch of Asians into a small room, Get sweaty from body heat and lack of any real A/C so the smell of musk is everywhere, Throw in beer and some hard liquor, and end the night drunkenly and shamelessly singing Lady Gaga posse style. During this party a friend had won a thousand dollars, i had kissed my fellow gaysian, and a friend had turned out to be a surprisingly emotional drunk. However, a night is never completed until you go out to eat at a Denny's, with some familiar faces, to talk about grand ol' times...and the immensely disgusting nature of "The Human Centipede".
So in usual style and flair of my weekends...I stayed at home unless something came up on it's own. With luck, my fellow gaysian was going to a concert and had an extra ticket so I tagged along. We went to go see Greg Laswell, who sings quite depressing songs (which fits in perfectly with my bitter single life), he was quite charming and upbeat in person. Of course, I was distracted by the drunk housewives of Austin, Texas behind me, one of which accidentally grabbed my ass. Did i mention the ever lovely Texas heat, creating a hell-like environment, where the smell of musk reigns supreme? After the concert, which was overall great, we decided to run over to Kiss n Fly, the local gay club, to see how Pride was doing still.
Well as it turns out the summer heat brings out the inner slut in us all. Not to say that as a negative thing...I saw more abs then I could possibly feel up in a single night! Of course pride also meant that there were a lot of familiar faces....A lot, a lot, a lot...some were friends(ish..), some were classmates, some were STD ridden sluts of campus...and some were guys from grindr that I pretended to not notice.
Sadly, as the title suggested, things didn't go smoothly, seeing as we never got in, the line was ridiculously long, and the bouncer friend of my fellow gaysian was unable to just let us in. We left, defeated, walking to the thumping beat of the block party across the street, where all the gays were getting drunk and horny.
Of course, that was just Saturday night, and Sunday ended in typical fashion with only a few twists. For a friend's birthday they had gone to Karaoke, the breeding hole of all Asians. It's always the same recipe. Throw a bunch of Asians into a small room, Get sweaty from body heat and lack of any real A/C so the smell of musk is everywhere, Throw in beer and some hard liquor, and end the night drunkenly and shamelessly singing Lady Gaga posse style. During this party a friend had won a thousand dollars, i had kissed my fellow gaysian, and a friend had turned out to be a surprisingly emotional drunk. However, a night is never completed until you go out to eat at a Denny's, with some familiar faces, to talk about grand ol' times...and the immensely disgusting nature of "The Human Centipede".
Saturday, June 5, 2010
You've got male!
I didn't expect to make a new post so soon, but I was suddenly struck with a ramble, and well...where else would I put it?!
In this day and age, being gay and single doesn't necessarily mean sexless. Of course, it's always been that way, but it's especially poignant in today's society which overvalues sex, something that apparently i should know all about according to my friends.
To put it simple...gay and horny? (dare i say it...) There's an app for that.
I'll be honest, I'm no stranger to the cruise scene, and I myself have this app, damn my inability to resist temptation in all it's forms! However, even I am not so stupid to believe that something will come out of it, other then perhaps a temporary chatting buddy, or if i so chose, a quick lay.
However, the idea is still there, it's so ridiculous the sheer amount of sites that are dedicated to "connections" which, is actually online lingo for "one night stand". And I must admit sadly, my dear reader, I have fallen into the trap of joining more times then i should ever admit publicly. From Adam4Adam, to Dlist, to Manhunt. These sites range from being slightly subtle to, here's a dick in your face, and maybe later in your mouth, wink wink.
With how simple it is to "meet" someone, is it any wonder that we've devalued say....meeting people in real life, in real places, to do real things?
And I can't help but wonder (as Carrie Bradshaw does) if by our actions we aren't setting the example that relationships don't have to come organically, if they are just one click away.
I myself have told myself repeatedly, "these people, and occasionally the old man perv masquerading as a hottie using a clearly stolen model picture, don't really exist, and i need to find those that do"yet I can't seem to drag myself away from my itouch, or my computer, to go out and go to say...a group meeting, or the slightly better then a hook up site gay club. Everyone knows there are clubs you can join, organizations you can help, hell even Pride is coming up this weekend here in Austin, the biggest collection of homo's that'll be here unless a Lady Gaga concert suddenly comes into town.
So what I'm proposing is this. If I, a simple boy with an addiction to texting and boys, can stop my shenanigans, then there ain't no reason in hell you can't do the same. And if that seems too daunting, you can follow this twelve step program:
1.Turn off your iphone/itouch/browser
2.Delete your apps/bookmarks
3.Cry about your loneliness to your friends
4.Learn to deal the old fashion way, self-loving.
5.Get yourself some slutty shorts and a fitted tee
6. Get your ass to a bar/club, and get drunk till you're confident.
7. Say hello to someone on the dancefloor.
8. Continue the conversation until something blossoms, or you get rejected.
9. Repeat until something more comes out of it.
10. Learn what a monogamous relationship feels like.
11. Lord over your friends because you are no longer single.
12. Be happy.
Good luck!
....Actually you know what, forget that. I just got a message from a cutie. Holller at me hoes!
This post is dedicated to my two fellow gaysians. <3.
In this day and age, being gay and single doesn't necessarily mean sexless. Of course, it's always been that way, but it's especially poignant in today's society which overvalues sex, something that apparently i should know all about according to my friends.
To put it simple...gay and horny? (dare i say it...) There's an app for that.
I'll be honest, I'm no stranger to the cruise scene, and I myself have this app, damn my inability to resist temptation in all it's forms! However, even I am not so stupid to believe that something will come out of it, other then perhaps a temporary chatting buddy, or if i so chose, a quick lay.
However, the idea is still there, it's so ridiculous the sheer amount of sites that are dedicated to "connections" which, is actually online lingo for "one night stand". And I must admit sadly, my dear reader, I have fallen into the trap of joining more times then i should ever admit publicly. From Adam4Adam, to Dlist, to Manhunt. These sites range from being slightly subtle to, here's a dick in your face, and maybe later in your mouth, wink wink.
With how simple it is to "meet" someone, is it any wonder that we've devalued say....meeting people in real life, in real places, to do real things?
And I can't help but wonder (as Carrie Bradshaw does) if by our actions we aren't setting the example that relationships don't have to come organically, if they are just one click away.
I myself have told myself repeatedly, "these people, and occasionally the old man perv masquerading as a hottie using a clearly stolen model picture, don't really exist, and i need to find those that do"yet I can't seem to drag myself away from my itouch, or my computer, to go out and go to say...a group meeting, or the slightly better then a hook up site gay club. Everyone knows there are clubs you can join, organizations you can help, hell even Pride is coming up this weekend here in Austin, the biggest collection of homo's that'll be here unless a Lady Gaga concert suddenly comes into town.
So what I'm proposing is this. If I, a simple boy with an addiction to texting and boys, can stop my shenanigans, then there ain't no reason in hell you can't do the same. And if that seems too daunting, you can follow this twelve step program:
1.Turn off your iphone/itouch/browser
2.Delete your apps/bookmarks
3.Cry about your loneliness to your friends
4.Learn to deal the old fashion way, self-loving.
5.Get yourself some slutty shorts and a fitted tee
6. Get your ass to a bar/club, and get drunk till you're confident.
7. Say hello to someone on the dancefloor.
8. Continue the conversation until something blossoms, or you get rejected.
9. Repeat until something more comes out of it.
10. Learn what a monogamous relationship feels like.
11. Lord over your friends because you are no longer single.
12. Be happy.
Good luck!
....Actually you know what, forget that. I just got a message from a cutie. Holller at me hoes!
This post is dedicated to my two fellow gaysians. <3.
Friday, June 4, 2010
First Impressions
Everyone knows how important first impressions, it's often the basis for whether or not you'll receive the chance for a second one, and sadly usually sticks around well after everything is done and said. Hell, in fact this post counts as a first impression, and if I don't deliver, why would you stick around?
This really comes to mind because of a discussion I was having with someone earlier today, about a documentary his friend was doing about essentially the gay community. For such a small community, we do a great job of separating ourselves even more into little cliques, which only serves to hurt our cause even more.
On one hand you got the butch "masculine" gay guys, they're macho, they're not "in your face", hell they might even get to just "fit in" completely with straight society and never have any issues with discrimination. They're the ones you find in the gym, hiding out on a football field, infesting your gym lockers and proudly wearing Affliction shirts, or perhaps a nice polo.
On the other hand you got the flamboyant "feminine" gay guys, more commonly known as fairies, queers, and all sorts of delightful monikers. They're the in-your-face, out-loud-out-proud, kind of guys, the ones you expect and mock to wear make up, be into fashion (as if it's bad that they care), and are commonly into man-scaping. They'd be called out as gay in the pitch black, with a prominent wrist limp and a cosmopolitan.
That's all fine and well for both groups, but at the end of the day, you still like dick, you still own a dick and you still like to get some ass. And *gasp* you're still gay.
Of course...Hopefully most everyone knows, that these are just stereotypes...That these people don't truly exist..welllll. They do, but not as common, nor are they as forced as they sound..Yet still, upon meeting someone, we immediately just classify them into one of these two categories, whether they be gay or lesbian (Who are either "dykes" or "lipstick lesbians"), and then we throw an unfair hissy fit when straight people do the same.
If you simply associate with people from one "cast", you'll live a very boring life. People are all different, and it's like a buffet, you should always get a variety of things, or would you really just get plate after plate of plain ol' roast beef? You'll be able to get help and advice on all sorts of things that pop up in life, and you'll be thankful for having that one friend who just happens to know to sew a mccall's pattern! I have different friends that I ask for different advice, be it fashion (which i plainly suck at), cooking, life, sex, decorating, or simple entertainment (Gotta have a friend who watches the same trashy tv as you!).
These first impressions get blown out of proportion (Unless of course you actually are at a drag show, or perhaps, a straight-acting convention?) and then we start to assume so much about other people. Over time people tend to change, we fluctuate and it shouldn't be surprising that most people just don't fit neatly into a box. There is no man who is purely masculine, or purely feminine, so why can't we accept that?
The thing about first impressions is, we don't get to decide the situation we meet people in, the circumstances of the moment. We tend to forget these details over time, and just remember details that amount to nothing. We should learn, or at least know, that first impressions shouldn't be a measuring stick, but perhaps just a tiny taste of what might come, so why not just let go of that impression, and take a chance for a second? If things go will maybe a third, and damn, before you know it, you'll have a real life relationship or bond.
This really comes to mind because of a discussion I was having with someone earlier today, about a documentary his friend was doing about essentially the gay community. For such a small community, we do a great job of separating ourselves even more into little cliques, which only serves to hurt our cause even more.
On one hand you got the butch "masculine" gay guys, they're macho, they're not "in your face", hell they might even get to just "fit in" completely with straight society and never have any issues with discrimination. They're the ones you find in the gym, hiding out on a football field, infesting your gym lockers and proudly wearing Affliction shirts, or perhaps a nice polo.
On the other hand you got the flamboyant "feminine" gay guys, more commonly known as fairies, queers, and all sorts of delightful monikers. They're the in-your-face, out-loud-out-proud, kind of guys, the ones you expect and mock to wear make up, be into fashion (as if it's bad that they care), and are commonly into man-scaping. They'd be called out as gay in the pitch black, with a prominent wrist limp and a cosmopolitan.
That's all fine and well for both groups, but at the end of the day, you still like dick, you still own a dick and you still like to get some ass. And *gasp* you're still gay.
Of course...Hopefully most everyone knows, that these are just stereotypes...That these people don't truly exist..welllll. They do, but not as common, nor are they as forced as they sound..Yet still, upon meeting someone, we immediately just classify them into one of these two categories, whether they be gay or lesbian (Who are either "dykes" or "lipstick lesbians"), and then we throw an unfair hissy fit when straight people do the same.
If you simply associate with people from one "cast", you'll live a very boring life. People are all different, and it's like a buffet, you should always get a variety of things, or would you really just get plate after plate of plain ol' roast beef? You'll be able to get help and advice on all sorts of things that pop up in life, and you'll be thankful for having that one friend who just happens to know to sew a mccall's pattern! I have different friends that I ask for different advice, be it fashion (which i plainly suck at), cooking, life, sex, decorating, or simple entertainment (Gotta have a friend who watches the same trashy tv as you!).
These first impressions get blown out of proportion (Unless of course you actually are at a drag show, or perhaps, a straight-acting convention?) and then we start to assume so much about other people. Over time people tend to change, we fluctuate and it shouldn't be surprising that most people just don't fit neatly into a box. There is no man who is purely masculine, or purely feminine, so why can't we accept that?
The thing about first impressions is, we don't get to decide the situation we meet people in, the circumstances of the moment. We tend to forget these details over time, and just remember details that amount to nothing. We should learn, or at least know, that first impressions shouldn't be a measuring stick, but perhaps just a tiny taste of what might come, so why not just let go of that impression, and take a chance for a second? If things go will maybe a third, and damn, before you know it, you'll have a real life relationship or bond.
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