The greatest frienemy in existance.

When  I had originally planned this post out in my head, it was different, but recent events have changed my mind.

The premise still remains the same however, in any person's life I believe that the greatest frienemy you'll ever meet will be your own parents. They'll be the ones that you love, and yet want to bang their heads against a wall until they can somehow comprehend you. As family, you're duty bound to love them, and the reverse is true. It sounds so shallow, yet the bond itself is deep ironically. I've had my battles, as have my sibling, but through it out we both have never said we hated our parents. We hate certain aspects, and we hate their ignorance, but as we grow older we learn the all important "Why" of things. We learn why they treated us the way they did, the actions they took that they thought were correct, regardless of whether it was true or not.

The unavoidable truth is, that we will do the exact same with our children. Because as a parent, they're goal isn't to be your friend, in fact it's turned out that kind of attitude is usually detrimental to a child's development. They do what they feel will keep you alive, and with the best conditions they can provide. Whether they do this in a kind and, well, sane manner is up to their culture, ideals, environment.

I think the thing we forget about our parents, the frienemy, is that there is a reason they're both. When we inevitably fuck up in our lives, it's hard for them to accept whatever we've done, and that they're scared that we'll do something even worse. Or in my case at the moment, they're unable to handle the life choices we make.

I, against my will, actually followed my own advice from a previous post, and came out to my parents. I had wanted to do it on my own terms when the time was right, but like most things we try to plan out, got shot to hell.

Apparently, my aunt from the great ol' mormon state of Utah found out about my facebook and saw my interested in men status, as well as my pictures which are less then innocent. Sidenote: I have learned the greatness that is, limited profile, everyone should implement it in their lifes!

Long story short, I had a falling out with my dad as almost my entire family now knows I'm gay, and I'm still unclear on my current relationship to my mom.

But after thinking long and hard I've realized that as a group the gay community needs to learn that although we think of coming out as a solely personal experience it is not. It not only affects us, it affects our families and those we tell. We can't simply expect them to suddenly accept it, and be fine with it. It can conflict with their personal feelings on the matter, and we must accept that. Although things are strained now, I can only hope that things will get better between me and my frienemies.

Frienemy - The state of being both a friend and an enemy, perhaps not equally.